


I’m Listening

by maggotmuffins



Category: Video Blogging RPF, actuallyoddplan
Genre: :(, I’m sad, M/M, Self projecting at it’s finest, ahhsiwvduyquusia yay, first fic blush emoji, its very cute doe, so ooc cuz its a vent lol, stosuh, vent - Freeform, vent time, we don’t talk bout drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22364206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggotmuffins/pseuds/maggotmuffins
Summary: Dis is jus a vent I am a sad worm and need to get this off my mind :) but like enjoy ig😳   Sorry for any typos or grammatical errors I’m illiterate
Relationships: Hosuh Lee & Stephen Ng, Hosuh Lee/Stephen Ng
Comments: 3
Kudos: 45





	I’m Listening

Sometimes it’s hard to be alone even if you prefer it that way. 

Hosuh likes to be alone he enjoys being able to keep to himself and have ‘me time’ but there are downsides to his Isolating habit. 

Being lonely wasn’t something he really ever concerned himself with he’s always been the quiet and standoffish type even when he was younger, but with age comes stupid and unwelcome emotions like anxiety, depression, insomnia isn’t really an emotion but it sure sucks too. The silver haired male found it harder and harder to socialize the older he got which bothered him since he was a somewhat sociable child, but as soon as his early teen years hit he started to dislike people more and more until it made him sick. It’s not like he didn’t talk to people he had and still has friends but he just found it harder and harder to be around even small groups at a time, it’s like his lugs would fill up with water and his face would burn like he’s sick, and worst of all he’d get dizzy which made it hard to stand or walk. 

There was one person who always made him feel better though, Stephen. The Charismatic, loud, somewhat narcissistic, and vibrant haired male. Ever since Hosuh could remember he’s always been at ease when he’s with Stephen even when the purple haired male makes some rather concerning jokes. Not only was Stephen funny and energetic but he was a great listener. Hosuh doesn’t like to bother his friends, he feels bad about venting so much so he just stops he knows it’s not good to bottle up emotions but he’s learned to handle the extra stress. Drawing sometimes helps relieve stress but it can also be the cause of such negative feelings. As of late the light haired male hasn’t been feeling great both mentally and physically, he spends most of his time in his room by himself occasionally coming out to eat or use the bathroom but that was about it. This behavior started to worry Stephen. 

He knows that Hosuh enjoys alone time but something didn’t sit right with the psychotic male, he would occasionally knock on his friends door or text him with not much of a reaction coming from the shorter boy. Things were starting to get worse Stephen couldn’t stop stressing over his friends condition, he doesn’t want to pry Incase it has a negative affect and makes the silver mans problem worse but it’s been about a week since he actually had a real face to face conversation with Hosuh. Stephen isn’t the best with sensitive things like emotions and other more serious matters since he himself doesn’t go through it as much as his friend, but he does understand Hosuh and that’s something he knows for a fact. Him and Hosuh have been best friends for years so he knows what the shorter male goes through and how to help. 

Hosuh has shut himself in his room, fearing that if he leaves he’ll breakdown again, he can’t do that he doesn’t want to bother his friends, he doesn’t want to bother Stephen. It’s hard dealing with self worth and esteem, he’s in his 20s yet he still can’t seem to feel okay or see himself in a good light, he knows he’s loved by his friends and family he knows it for a fact but some part of his brain continues to convince himself that everything is fake and a lie, it makes him tired he just wants to shut his eyes and disappear. But he knows he can’t he enjoys many things, loves to many people, and he knows he’d regret it. His eyes burn from crying and looking at the blinding screen of his devices for so long, he shuts everything off and doesn’t even bother to change into more comfortable clothes as he climbs into his bed forcing himself to sleep and hopefully forget he’s feeling these things. 

Stephen is starting to worry more than he already was, Hosuh hasn’t read his texted or shone any proof he’s alive. The taller male was so worried he chewed his nails to the point they hurt which is very out of the ordinary for him. That’s it, he decided he was gonna just go in and make sure he’s not doing something he’d regret. Standing up from his very uncomfortable dining room chair he walked to his friends room trying his best to look as confident as possible even though he was a worried mess at this point although he’d never admit that. 

Hosuh has been asleep for who knows how long he keeps waking up in some hazy half asleep state and going back into his dreamland out of despair from waking up. He finally fully awoke when he heard persistent knocking on his bedroom door, he opted to try and ignore it knowing who it was and what they wanted but that idea failed when the knocking stopped and the door opened. Stephen didn’t wanna surprise the smaller boy he knows how easy it is to startle him, so he decided instead of going head on he would start with some annoying but gets the point across knocking, and as he suspected nothing so plan B it was. Stephen opened the door to his friends room slowly wanting not to freak him out. Only to see Hosuh hair messy and knotted, eyes red and the left overs of tears streaming down his flush and tired face. 

Hosuh’s reaction was very slow he just stared at his taller friend till he remembered that he had just been on and off crying and sleeping for the past hour. Covering his face with his blanket as fast as he could already knowing Stephen already got a good look at his current condition, he could hear the purple haired man's footsteps get closer. He pulled the blanket off Hosuh’s head revealing the smaller man who he could now see clearly now, god he looked so tired his eyes were so puffy from crying so much. Stephen didn’t know what to do, he hadn’t thought this through at all. He didn’t expect Hosuh to look so defeated, not knowing what to do, he just stared at the smaller male. Hosuh’s eyes started to tear up once again despite him trying to force them back in, water welled-up at the bottom of his sore eyes. Stephen let go of the blanket when he saw tears fall off of the pretty mans face. 

“Fuck. I- Hosuh sorry I didn’t mean to Uh..” Stephen stuttered out not exactly knowing what to do with his best friend now crying in front of him. The taller man not losing his confidence moved closer to the crying male sitting down next to him on his soft bed, he slowly put his hand on his back rubbing it in small circles from years of friendship he knows that Hosuh enjoys the feeling of warm hands on his back. Suddenly Stephens throat was dry so dry he had a hard time getting his words out. Why can't he say anything he's just awkwardly sitting there rubbing his friends back this must be uncomfortable for him, as soon as the purple haired male tried to remove his hand Hosuh let out a quiet but audible “wait…” Stephen turns around only to face the damp but pretty face before him eyes shining from crying while fresh tears fall down and off the smaller ones face. 

Something about seeing Stephen trying to move away and leave scared Hosuh more than confrontation dose, without thinking he tried his best to mutter a small ‘wait’ but what after that what is he going to say? He didn't want to talk in the first place yet he still wanted the vibrant haired male to stay by his side. “Stephen ... don't leave please I-” God his voice was so weak and sore, why is he so fucking pathetic, why cant he be stroung, why is he bothing Stephen with his problems. So many questions start racing through his head he doesn't even hear the other male respond to him. Hearing the smaller male speak with such a hurt tone nearly broke Stephen’s already cracked heart. With a soft sigh the taller man sat back down “Okay Hos” that was all he said in response. 

Hosuh was lost in thought he didn’t notice Stephen started rubbing his back again, so much self doubt, hatred, and distress. The worst part is that it came out of nowhere, He’s always had these problems but he felt the older he got the worse they get. No matter what he tries, nothing seems to work he went to therapy for a little while but stress made him have to stop going, he takes medication yet it doesn’t do much except make him tired which isn’t helpful since he’s already constantly sleepy. He’s annoyed at himself for being so emotionally weak compared to his peers, he hates the fact that people have to wait on him to be okay when in actuality he’s never okay enough, he’d never say anything though. The only time he’s ever truly said anything about how he feels was a few years back the day he was hospitalized due to self harm and a failed suicide attempt, he wasn’t picking up his phone and the last thing he said was some cryptic messages about leaving and not bothering anyone anymore. He vividly remember seeing Stephen looking extremely panicked and crying, the next thing he knew he was in the hospital. After a day or two Stephen came to visit him and he looked so tired, like he hasn’t slept in days tired which was most likely the case, he didn’t say much at first just held Hosuh’s hand tightly and asked if he was okay repeating himself a few times. They sat like that for an hour or two till the smaller male finally spoke up. “I’m sorry for being such a bother… I- I didn’t mean to make you worry so much…” Hosuh started to cry without even realizing it. Stephen just sat there and listened to the silver haired male vent and cry till he was slowly falling back into sleep. 

“Hey Hosuh..” the shorter male was snapped out of his self hating spiral by the smooth and calming voice of the man next to him. “I’m not gonna make you talk if you don’t want to. But just know that I’m here for ya..” as the purple male spoke he somewhat pulled Hosuh into a small embrace, enough to give him some room, but also holding him close to his chest. The smaller male closed his eyes that were on fire from how much he’s been crying, it felt so warm and safe in Stephen’s arms, he felt safe and at home. Wrapping his arms around the bigger male pulling him into a deeper hug, “mhh” was all the blue eyed boy muttered and that was all he needed too. Stephen understood how he felt, he moved his body so that they were laying down on the soft bed. Not wanting to shift around too much the taller man carefully grabbed the blankets and pulled them over him and his partner. Hosuh felt so warm, it was nice just laying there in someone’s arms, feeling safe and okay knowing someone is there for you made him feel better than any drug could. Before he even realized he was nodding off once again, but not in a ‘I’m so upset I don’t wanna be awake’ way in a more happy and peaceful way, he relaxed his body and cuddled up into Stephen’s arms even more making sure they could be as close as could be. Faster than you could say ‘goodnight’ the silver boy was fast asleep with a tiny but happy smile on his lips. Stephen shifted and held Hosuh to his chest, placed his chin on top of the smaller ones head. He whispered a small “goodnight Hos.” Closed his eyes and placed a small kiss onto his friends forehead. 

Both fell asleep peacefully, holding each other close.

**Author's Note:**

> Vsoxgsiixisis idk how 2 write obviously but I trwy anyway Stosuh be like *makes worms happy noises* also ig I can plug my insta or somethin it’s maggotmuffins also 😳 YEAH I KNOW DAN JUST POSTED HIS VID ALSO SO THUS IS EXTRA VENT NOW >:’(


End file.
